Re: Unspoken Attraction (Dave/Karkat)

raunchyJanitor Thu Oct 13, 2011 3:17 pm

"None of your business," Dave replied after swallowing the chunk of taco he was chewing, reaching down to pick up a cup of guacamole to add to it.

**solarOrigins** Thu Oct 13, 2011 3:25 pm

"I'll leave you some condoms then. Wouldn't want my favorite little bro catching some freaky alien STDs for being freaky" Bro snickered.

raunchyJanitor Thu Oct 13, 2011 3:30 pm

Dave applied the guacamole to his taco with a plastic fork he retrieved from the bag, snorting at Bro, "Jesus, I'm not jumping his bones that soon."

**solarOrigins** Thu Oct 13, 2011 3:33 pm

"Don't get him too excited. Troll anatomy is nothing like ours." Bro replied. "Bet you don't know anything about what's in their pants."

raunchyJanitor Thu Oct 13, 2011 3:39 pm

Dave choked on the mouthful he had, finding it unwise to humor his brother with a conversation of this sort while he was eating. He coughed hoarsely into a fist he brought in front of his mouth before finally croaking, "You might..." He had another small coughing fit, waiting until it mellowed out to continue, "--want to bet on something else."

**solarOrigins** Thu Oct 13, 2011 3:46 pm

"Oh yeah?" Bro asked, quirking a brow. "Did you know Trolls can't get off by themselves? Or that their jizz builds up and builds up until its painful for them?"

raunchyJanitor Thu Oct 13, 2011 4:10 pm

"Don't be a cock tease; understood," Dave replied, wiping the faint tears that had developed around the corners of his eyes with his sleeve. "You know, it's kind of funny how trolls get so bashful when they so much as catch a glimpse of a bucket." His face had returned to the calm it had been trained to stay at as he looked over at Bro, pressing on, "It's funny because... they get so sheepish about sex, whenever you ask them about it, they either instantly clam up or leave. Either that or troll you with ridiculous 'facts'."

That's when he hinted to the point of his little speech, "They get so nervous about it to the point that you would practically have to have sex with one before you could find those sorts of things out." You are either fucking a troll or are lying to me. And I am calling you out on it.

**solarOrigins** Thu Oct 13, 2011 4:23 pm

"Tavros got to the point where he had to ask me if I could get him a 'toy' to help him. They can't exactly stick those claws up in their troll vag with out hurting themselves." Bro replied with a snicker. "That was after I walked in on him trying to use the plunger. I gave him a smuppet."

raunchyJanitor Thu Oct 13, 2011 4:45 pm

Dave smacked Bro playfully on the shoulder as a sort of 'Dude, what the Hell'? "Wow, Bro, seriously, you need to learn how to flick on the 'TMI' switch. All you had to tell me was that you caught Tav fapping so he filled you in on the big picture. That's all. Jesus." He was not interested in finding out the intimate details of what exactly their roommate liked to stick up their alien cooch. God, and he used that plunger not even two weeks ago for what it was intended to be used for. He would have to remember to get a new one before it was needed again.

**solarOrigins** Thu Oct 13, 2011 5:09 pm

"You're a strider, you can take it. Also, the bucket under the sink in the bathroom is Tav's. Ignore it, aight?" Bro stated "It was a pain to find one in the right color and size"

raunchyJanitor Thu Oct 13, 2011 5:53 pm

Dave shook his head, taking another bite of taco. "Thanks for the heads up." He had kind of wondered what that thing was doing there when he had gone to search the bathroom for the first aid kit. "So anything else I need to know or is Troll Sexology 101 over for the day?"

**solarOrigins** Thu Oct 13, 2011 5:58 pm

"I think I'm done" Bro replied. "Unless there's something you want to know?"

raunchyJanitor Thu Oct 13, 2011 7:32 pm

Dave grinned, deciding that it was his turn to speak frankly in hopes that maybe it would gross his brother out, but also because he was honestly curious as he asked, "Got any condoms that would hold troll spooge? I mean, if they cum by the bucket load, I doubt the average bit of latex would be able to keep it all in one place."

**solarOrigins** Thu Oct 13, 2011 8:52 pm

"Nope. Gotta use a bucket if you don't want to get it everywhere." Bro replied. "Or take it up your ass."

raunchyJanitor Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:04 am

Dave grimaced, "Bucket it is then." Not that he wasn't willing take a seat on some troll cock, just that he knew Karkat would have to wear a condom if they did and if he didn't pull out in time, well, Dave would have a water balloon of genetic material lodged in his lower intestine. That or they would lose the condom all together up his butt and he wasn't sure if he wanted to go digging around for it. No, definitely not.

**solarOrigins** Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:26 am

"I always knew you had a think for cock" Bro smirked "Just thought it would be Egbert Jr.'s and not an alien troll." He leaned back on the couch, turning the Tv on and flipping channels.

raunchyJanitor Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:35 am

"Right, like I would let Derpbert get a piece of this action," Dave teased, flexing his arms like he was putting on a gun show, half-eaten taco in hand. He set them back down, except for the one with the food, in which he promptly took another bite from. "Besides, you've seen troll dick, right? How do you resist such a sweet ride like that?"

**solarOrigins** Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:47 am

Bro shrugged. "Just years of sleeping around. I'm lucky it hasn't fallen off by this point I guess"

raunchyJanitor Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:14 am

"That would also explain why you hand out condoms like candy," Dave noted, finishing off his first taco and moving on to his second.

**solarOrigins** Fri Oct 14, 2011 3:16 am

Bro smirked and leaned over slightly to ruffle Dave's hair in a half-assed noogie. "Nah, that's because I care and its hella fun to see your reaction."

raunchyJanitor Fri Oct 14, 2011 4:13 am

Dave scooted over a bit from Bro to get away from all of the noogie-ing, raising his taco-free hand to defend himself with some distance between them as he grinned, "Awww, you sweet thang you, caring about your little bro."

**solarOrigins** Fri Oct 14, 2011 4:20 am

"Why the hell wouldn't I? If you weren't around, I'd be busted for so much shit. Fuck, I don't do half the stuff I really want to because you're around" Bro replied, letting his arm fall onto the back of the futon. "You make me clean up my act. A little."

raunchyJanitor Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:01 pm

Dave's grin softened into a smile, suddenly no longer interested in the taco he was eating. "You're pretty alright for a brother some times, like, right now. Sort of." He clarified, looking at him from the side, "You know, when you're not throwing smuppets at me or cutting me open on the roof." To be fair, Bro had only cut him badly once and he even stitched him up after that. Albeit, he was cursing and writhing in pain the entire time, but still, the thought was there.

**solarOrigins** Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:14 pm

"Shut the fuck up and eat your tacos. Did I tell you we were having a feelings jam? I fucking think not, so knock that shit out unless you want to strife." Bro scowled.

raunchyJanitor Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:24 pm

Dave snickered as he took another bite, thoroughly amused by Bro's defensiveness about opening up a little. Not like he expected him to ever open up more than a hundredth of a fraction, that was simply not how shit was done around here. "Just stating my mind, no need to whip out the tissue boxes and alert the nearest counselor."

Sponsored content