All I Want Is You (Sollux/Eridan)

[Zeke]

▼: hii.
▲: oh hey soll
▲: wwhats up
▼: nothiing, really.
▼: ii wa2 ju2t talkiing two a human.
▲: oh really i thought you didnt talk to humans soll
▲: i thought that wwas beneath you an all
▼: well, ii happened two 2tumble upon hiim and blah blah.
▼: whatever.
▼: doe2 iit matter?
▼: and ye2, iit ii2.
▼: ii diidn't partiicularly want two.
▲: oh wwas he interestin at least
▼: yeah.
▲: wwas it the davve human or the john human
▼: he wa2 2ayiing 2hiit about comiing two help u2.
▼: dave human.
▼: 2adly.
▲: oh hes pretty cool
▼: ii'd have preferred the john human.
▲: howw come i dont like john too much
▼: john 2eem2 niicer.
▲: maybe but hes
▼: but, dave doe2n't 2eem liike the douche kk made hiim out two be.
▲: i dont think hes a bad guy ivve talked to him before
▲: most of that asshole demeanor of his is just an act actually
▼: ii gue22.
▼: he 2aiid 2omethiing about how we 2hould hang out 2ometiime.
▲: that wwould be pretty interestin i guess
▲: so wwhat havve you been doin
▲: youvve been on your computer all day
▼: ye2, ii have.
▲: dion wwhat
▲: *doin
▼: talkiing two people, fiixiing bug2 iin the network.
▼: you know, typiical techniiciian iin the background 2hiit.
▲: oh i guess i can kinda understand that
▲: a little
▼: can you really, ed?
▲: yeah i think so
▲: but you knoww
▲: youre really lucky that you havve somefin useful you can do
▲: seems like me only purpose is to get on evverybodys nervves
▲: *my
▼: no, not ju2t that.
▼: you're al2o there for comiic reliief.
▼: lmao.
▲: thanks soll that makes me feel so much better let me tell you
▲: wwhat the fuck use is a prince of hope anywway
▲: wwhat do wwe havve to hope for
▲: fuckin nofin
▼: hope that we come out aliive?
▼: hope that there'2 a miiracle on the horiizon?
▲: theres no wway to scientifucally provve miracles
▲: theyre a dumb story for grubs
▲: and sos magic an hope and faith an all that bullshit
▲: the only thin that matters and has substance in the wworld is science
▼: do you hone2tly beliieve that?
▼: do you 2eriiou2ly beliieve there'2 only plaiin, boriing 2ciience?
▲: of course i do wwhy wwouldnt i
▼: there ii2n't ju2t 2ciience, you dumb fuck.
▲: wwe cant provve that theres anyfin else can wwe
▲: yeah wwell wwhat else is there then
▲: huh
▼: no matter what ii 2ay, you'll giive me a2ciientiifiic rea2on.
▼: one that ii don't care for.
▲: ...
▲: i wwont say anyfin about science if youll explain to me wwhy you believve in stuff you cant provve
▲: deal
▲: *?
▼: you're a2kiing me, the mage of doom, for a rea2on two have hope?
▼: welp, we all have our moment2 of de2peratiion.
▲: if you gotta call it that
▲: wwhatevver
▲: just tell me
▼: hm, fiine.
▼: well, let'2 2ee....
▼: the obviiou2 thiing two hope for ii2 love. but 2adly, that'd never happen for you.
▲: youre a real dick sometimes soll
▼: yep.
▼: you 2hould know thii2, ed.
▲: is there anyfin else
▼: what, two hope for?
▲: yeah
▲: that wwould be nice wwouldnt it
▲: i wwish i could be hopeful for stuff like that but
▲: i just dont see howw wwe havve a chance
▲: i learned not to get my hopes up a long time ago
▼: we have a chance, okay?
▼: look, we'll make iit through.
▼: ii'm 2ure ii'm wrong.
▼: you need a liittle hope.
▼: iit'2 depre22iing when the mage of /doom/ ii2 more hopeful than the priince of /hope/.
▲: sorry but thats just howw i am i havvent really had a lot to hope for you knoww
▲: ivve nevve really understood it
▲: *nevver
▲: i wwhish i could because it seems like itd be a nice thing to feel
▲: kans alwways real hopeful and she seems like shes the happiest of all of us
▲: but i guess i just dont havve it in me to feel that wway
▲: it is kinda depressing huh
▲: oh wwell
▼: ye2 iit ii2.
▲: but hey thanks for tryin soll i actually do appreciate it
▲: i mean most of the others wwont evven make that much of an effort
▲: it wwas a nice change
▼: and thii2 ii2 when ii'm meant two giive iin, riight?
▼: becau2e, you know what?
▼: ii'm not.
▲: wwhat
▲: wwhat do ya mean
▼: you're a 2orry excu2e for a troll riight now.
▲: arent i alwways
▲: fef used to tell me the same thing
▲: back wwhen she used to tell me things
▼: ii'm not goiing two ju2t 2iit here and wallow iin your own mii2ery.
▲: pfft and just wwhat do you plan on doin wwith me then
▼: ii don't know.
▼: ii don't have a plan yet.
▲: if theres hope then there probably none for me
▼: there'2 hope for everyone.
▼: no matter what age, gender, blood and 2o on.
▲: no no see thats wwhy im the prince of hope i bet. i dont get any hope you all get my share. that must be it.
▲: makes sense to me
▼: no no no.
▼: you're wrong.
▲: soll i nevver actually had a problem wwith any of you cuz of your blood
▼: more wrong than eq'2 fetii2he2.
▲: wwhatevver you say
▲: i dont think anyfin gets wwronger than that
▼: ye2 there ii2.
▼: and that, ed, ii2 your lack of hope.
▲: if you say so
▲: wwhat exactly do i havve to hope for soll
▲: tell me really
▼: hope two liive through thii2 me22.
▲: evveryone hates me and not evven in the good wway so if wwe do survvivve and get a neww univverse an stuff
▼: hope that we can diie at an old age.
▲: its just a neww place to be hated an alone
▼: you won't be alone!
▲: yeah wwoll wwant to be around me
▲: *wwholl
▲: kan maybe
▲: but nobody else
▼: plea2e don't make me 2ay thii2.
▲: evven the other trolls nobody like wwont havve anyfin to do wwith me
▼: becaue ii'm hone2tly feeliing 2orry for you.
▲: soll you dont havve to be my friend just cuz im pathetic though i do appreciate the offer
▼: ii never 2aiid friiend2hiip.
▼: whatever.
▼: but, you won't be alone.
▲: im not vvery likeable an i knoww it
▼: even iif iit'2 ju2t kn.
▲: if you say so
▼: no, you're not.
▼: you're a diick.
▼: but, people can change.
▲: ivve tried
▲: you knoww
▲: i dont actually hate evveryone
▲: an
▲: i dont really care wwhat color your blood is
▲: i just
▲: i dunno
▲: i used to hate the landdwwellers but i guess i dont really care anymore
▲: i dont really care about much anymore
▲: an its not like i just hated you guys cuz youre different than me you knoww
▲: im not that much of a dick
▼: ii2 iit becau2e you're a racii2t diick?
▲: no its fuckin not okay
▲: you guys wwith your nasty dirty filthy trash almost orphaned me wwhen i wwas only a feww swweeps old
▲: but i guess he wwas gonna die anywway so it doesnt really matter
▼: and then you blame all of u2...?
▼: wow gee, thank2!
▼: what a great guy you are.
▲: seadwwellers dont litter
▲: its a landdwweller ting an its disgusting
▼: and yet you 2tiill thiink all ten of u2 deciided two liitter your 2ea?
▲: wwell i guess not but like i said i dont really care about it anymore its an old grudge an im ovver it noww okay
▲: ivve growwn up a lot since wwe started this game
▼: damn riight you are.
▲: i think wwe all havve
▼: ye2, we all have.
▼: becau2e we're 2cared we're goiing two diie.
▼: maiinly becau2e ii 2pread that around.
▲: im not really afraid to die
▼: haha.
▲: i think dying wwould be preferable to some of the other options
▼: you mean beiing forever alone?
▲: thats one a them
▲: i think about that a lot actually
▲: but dont wworry im not gonna like cull myself or some shit
▲: im wway too chicken to do that
▲: tuna rather
▼: better not.
▼: that 2hiit ii2 for coward2.whiich you're not.
▲: wwhy not its not like anyone wwould care anywway
▲: pft yeah i am soll
▲: i may as wwell admit it
▼: you're not that bad.
▼: you're not. really.
▼: don't fuckiing thiink about iit.
▲: wwhatevver you say soll
▼: oh, are we playiing the bull2hiit pa22iive game agaiin?
▼: oh boy!
▼: ii ju2t love that game.
▼: let'2 2ee how long iit take2 for me two get pii22ed.
▲: looks to me like you already wwon
▼: hurray!
▼: do ii get a priize?
▼: and no.
▼: ii'm not pii22ed yet.
▲: oh
▲: oh wwell
▼: what do you mean?
▼: 'oh wwell'.
▲: just wwhat i said oh wwell
▲: i wwas figurin you wwere gonna get frustrated an drop me just like evveryone else
▼: no.
▲: but i guess your gonna keep playin for a wwhile
▼: ii'm not a coward.
▼: ii'm not weak.
▼: plu2, ii'm u2ed two your bull2hiit.
▼: .....you know, ii don't now why ii care.
▼: ii really don't.
▲: i dont knoww wwhy either
▲: seems like you care a lot more than i do
▼: ii care a hell of a lot.
▼: and iit'2 beyond me why ii do.
▼: ii 2hould.
▼: ii really 2hould.
▼: 2houldn't*
▼: but ii do.
▲: yeah i dont really get it either its kinda wweird
▲: huh
▲: its probably a good thing wwere in different rooms then
▲: you seem like you care wway more than fef evver did
▲: i dunno howw comfortable id be wwith you knowwin shit about me
▲: youre more observvant than her
▼: becau2e ii giive a 2hiit about than thiing2 that are 'cool, cute of fun'.
▼: that'2 why.
▲: wwhatevver you say
▲: just
▲: keep your carin ovver there in the lab
▼: whatever.
▼: liike ii'd go near you, anyway.
▲: keep it that wway soll
▲: so uhm wwhat are you doing noww besides talkin to me
▲: are you wworkin on anyfin important
▼: no.
▼: ii've done my work for the moment.
▲: oh okay
▼: up untiil 2ome retarded jacka22 a2k2 me how two work the viiewport agaiin or 2omethiing.
▲: wwhat they havvent figured it out yet
▼: 2o, really, you're my 'entertaiinment'.
▼: kn diidn't.
▲: i got the hang of that after the first time you showwed me
▲: not that i use it much
▼: 2he couldn't fiigure iit out.
▲: haha thats funny
▲: shes usually pretty sharp
▼: 2he hiit me wiith the F1 key later.
▲: shes funny wwith howw she does stuff like that
▼: that kiind of hurt.
▲: wwhat the f1 key
▼: ye2.
▲: you must be kind of a wwimp soll
▼: 2he ha2 a 2trong throw okay??
▲: i havve a wway higher pain tolerance
▲: if you say so
▼: ye2, but ii don't do much phy2iical combat.
▼: ii do iit from a dii2tance.
▲: wwell so do i i mean my wweapons are ranged
▲: but still i can take a little pain no problem
▼: ii'm your 2tereotypiical nerd, ed.
▲: so am i i mean
▲: im probably wworse than you really
▲: i mean youre the techie kinda nerd
▲: but im the booky kind a nerd
▼: no.
▼: that'2 called an outca2t.
▲: wwhatevver
▲: im wwell awware that no one likes me
▲: you dont havve to keep remindin me
▼: iit'2 fun.
▲: i remind meself about it all the time trust
▲: *me
▲: maybe for you
▲: *myself
▼: your 'forevver alone' 2tatu2 make2 me feel better about my2elf.
▲: i bet it fuckin does an i bet it make evveryone else feel just fuckin peachy to
▲: but it fuckin sucks for me
▲: i hate it an i hate myself an i dont need you fuckin remindin me about it all the time
▲: fuck
▲: you knoww i need a minute ill be right back
▲: gotta go take care a somefin
▼: okay.
▼: whatever.
▼: ii've got nothiing better two do.
▲: - - caligulasAquarium [CA] is *away* - -
▲: ((five to ten minutes pass))
▲: - - caligulasAquarium has returned - -
▲: okay imbacjk
▲: fujcin asshole i dont evvenm like you you knowwe thatt
▼: woah woah woah.
▼: what'2 wiith the abundance of typo2??
▼: and ye2.
▼: ii know that.
▲: i thinjk youre judt an asshole on purpose
▼: what?
▼: no. iit'2 who ii am.
▼: ......
▲: sorry im typinm wwith one hsand
▼: ed.
▼: what the fuck are you doiing??
▲: wwhat
▲: nofin mind yerr owwbn businesss
▼: mu2t ii go check?
▲: no stay the fucjk awway!
▲: i dont evvenm like you
▼: well, neiither do ii.
▼: but ii'll get the blame.
▲: fer wwhaty ou dont evven knoww wwhaat im doin
▼: you're riight.
▼: but gue22 what.
▼: ii'm about two fiind out.
▲: nononono!
▲: fucjk you stay awway from my respoiteblock
▲: gtfo sollux
▲: this is me about to be reallky fucjkin pissed off
▼: already pa2t that poiint wiith me.
▼: ii'll be there iin a miinute.
▼: whether you liike iit or not.
▲: FUCK
▼: - - twinArmageddons [TA] is *away* - -
▲: *Eridan hurriedly yanks his sleeve down over the fresh cut on his arm and hopes it doesnt bleed through his shirt*
▼: *Sollux hastily makes his way to Eridan's respiteblock, clearly pretty pissed off.*
▲: *huddles in his cape and pulls his scarf tighter around his neck, pulling his feet up into the chair*
▼: *He enters the respiteblock, not bothering with any pre-warnings.*
▲: *jumps like a foot* wwhat the fuck do you wwant Soll? Just g-go awway.
▼: *He sighs sharply.* Look, I told you I'd be here, didn't I?
▲: I told you t-to stay the f-fuck awway, didn't I? It's fuckin' rude to jus' barge into somebody's respiteblock wwithough permission you knoww?
▼: Yeth, I know that. But, did you really think I'd lithten? After all, I never do.
▲: *ducks his head to stare pointedly at the desk* Yeah, I kn-knoww. But you're here an you can see I'm not doin' anyfin bad so you can jus' leavve noww okay?"
▼: Hm. You're being thuthpithiouth. What were you doing?
▲: Nofin jegus! Maybe i wwas drinkin' some fuckin' faygo an had one a my hands full, did ya think of that?
▼: Thomehow, I don't believe you. And I don't want to falthely accuthe.
▲: So jus' leavve already then! *scoots his chair further away* I don wwant you here. I just wwanna be left alone okay?
▼: Not until you tell me why you're acting like thith.
▲: Actin' like wwhat? I'm not actin' like anyfin, Soll. Jeeze I thought you kneww by noww that I'm totally intolerable to be around?
▼: Yeth, you are. But, you're not fucking thuthpithiouth. ....if you don't tell me, I'm going to athume.
▲: Assume wwhat? I'm not doin' nofin! *voice drops to a kind of pathetic little plea* Just... Just go awway, okay? Please.
▼: If you've got nothing to hide, why are you huddled up in your cape?
▲: ...C-cuz I'm cold, that's wwhy. Wwhy else?
▼: Get out of the cape, ED.
▲: I... I don't wwanna, Soll. *soft whine* Don't make me do this.
▼: It can't be that bad. Come on. *He sighs again.* I won't tell the otherth.
▲: Ww-wwhatevver... *shucks the cape and stands there stiffly, his claws pulling his sleeves down tight against his arms, with that one darker spot sticking uncomfortably to his skin*
▼: *He notices him pulling down his sleeves.* ....what are you hiding?
▲: *jumps a bit and puts his hands behind his back* Nofin. Nofin at all. *takes a couple steps back* Just lemme alone, Soll.
▼: *He steps forward.* No.
▲: Wwhy not? *another soft whine* Wwhy all the interest in me all of a sudden? You nevver cared before.
▼: I already explained. I don't know. Thow me your armth.
▲: I don't wwanna... *sighs in defeat and holds his arms out* If you wwanna see so bad look for yourself.
▼: *He pulls back the fabric on both of his arms.* ...... *He looks at Eridan, then back to his arms, then back again.*
▲: *flushes dark purple and shifts uncomfortably* Y-yeah, so wwhat? It's m-my fuckin' business wwhat I do.
▼: .....Eridan, w-ahat the hell??
▼: w-what*
▲: It's n-none of your business, okay?? *hastily pulls his sleeves back down and tugs his scarf tighter* Don't f-fuckin' judge me.
▲: A-an d-don't tell Kan, you promised you ww-wwouldn't.
▼: *He pauses for a moment, trying to find the right words.* .....are you out of your fucking mind?!
▼: Fine, I won't. I won't tell anyone, alright?
▲: ...yeah, okay. So now you kn-knoww my big fuckin' secret. You happy? Wwill you leavve noww?
▼: And you think I'm going to leave after theeing thith? Yeah, you're out of your mind, athhole.
▲: Wwhy do you evven care? Wwho cares if stupid nobody Eridan does wwhat the fuck evver? You'd all rather be r-rid of my anywway, an' I knoww it. You're jus' pretendin' to care cuz you feel obligated. Theres somefin wwrong wwith me so you gotta feel s-sorry fer the poor little lonely troll wwhen you dont r-really givve a fuck. Nobody does. *halfhearted glare*
▲: *me
▼: *He frowns, and pulls him into a hug.* I'm not pretending to care, alright? I do actually care. Fuck knowth why. I'm thuppothed to hate you, right? But, I can't bring mythelf to hate you right now. I don't know why. I jutht....can't. And don't you ever thay I don't give a fuck. Do you think I'd be here if I didn't give a fuck? Do you really think I'd be prething you for informathion if I didn't care? Well, you're wrong. On many God-damn levelth.
▲: *he stiffens and lets out a little stuttering gasp* I... I, uhm... O-okay... *flushed bright purple all the way to the tips of his fins* Uh, s-Soll? Wwhy're you huggin' me? Nobody's evver actually... done that before. *awkward as shit*
▼: Becauthe you need one right now. And that'th probably part of the reathon why you're deprethed ath hell. No one ever thowth affection to you.
▲: *gnaws his bottom lip with his crooked sharky teeth* Uhm, am I a-allowwed to hug you back?
▼: No, of courthe not. That'th totally not the point of a hug. *He rolls his eyes.* Yeth, you can hug me back.
▲: *instantly attaches himself to Sollux like he's absolutely starved for contact, which he probably is, and buries his face in the yellow-blood's neck*
▼: *He rubs the other's back softly, letting him cling to him like a lost child.*
▲: *soft little pathetic sniffle* Th-thanks Soll... You're, uh... *looks up at him pitifully* You're a really great friend an' I'm real glad you don't hate me.
▼: It'th fine, don't worry about it. But, like hell are you going to continue to do thith to yourthelf, okay?
▲: ...but... *sniffle* Soll, I dunno wwhat else to d-do. I knoww howw to d-deal wwith this kinda pain. I dunno wwhat to do wwith howw I feel wwhen you guys say that stuff ta me, a-an' wwhen stuff happens l-like Fef dumpin' me a-an' just l-life in general right noww cuz its all just so confusin' and scary an' awful, a-an... An' this is just easier.
▼: *He tightens his hold on Eridan a little.* Hurting yourthelf ith no better! Then not only ith the pain emotional, but phythical, too. It'th not eathier. It'th worthe. And you think you're the only one who'th felt alone, don't you?
▲: I... I guess not. I'm s-sorry... I-I don't t-try ta be insensitivve yanno...*wriggles closer against him* Um... S-soll? C-can I tell ya somethin' an ya ww-wwon't get mad?
▼: I don't think I can get mad right now, tho....go for it.
▲: Uhm... *gulps* It's not just my a-arms that I hurt. *gnaws at his lip again*
▼: *He frowns again.* Then where elthe do you hurt yourthelf?
▲: *disentangles his claws from the back of Sollux's shirt and gives a halfhearted tug at his scarf*
▼: *He stares at the marks on his neck.* ....that explainth the thcarf, then, right?
▲: *nodnod* I h-havven't in a wwhile but wwhen real bad stuff happens... *shifty eyes* L-like Fef dumpin me I do stuff to those gills. They're j-just my backup gills, so it's not like it'll k-kill me. But that's ww-wwhy i wwear the scarf mostly.
▼: ....you've got to thtop doing thith thit. It'th not helping at all, don't you thee that? It jutht hurtth you more. And then when you're done, you get the thting on the cutth. And, that fucking killth.
▲: *shuffles his feet* 'm sorry... nobody evver n-noticed before. I don't wwant you to be mad at me, Soll.
▼: *He takes a deep breath.* I'm not mad at you. If I wath, would I really thtill be here? I'd be off talking to FF or KN or thomething.
▲: *nods* 'mkay. Th-thanks, Soll, I r-really 'ppreciate this. *gnaws lip* This is the nicest anybody's evver been to me. I just... I kinda don't understand wwhat I did to deservve it?
▼: I told you, it'th nothing. And, I'm worried about you. Partly becauthe we need all the people we can get to defeat Jack. But, mainly becauthe I honethtly care. No one detherveth to be mitherable and alone. Ethpethially thinthe I know what it wath like. Jutht for a bit, though....
▲: *wraps his arms back around Sollux's waist* ...Soll? Uhm, thanks. For understandin'. *nuzzles his neck* This is... really nice. *content sigh*
▼: What, you mean the company or the hugging?
▲: Both. ...Yeah, both. *squeezes him a bit tighter* Can wwe just stay like this for a wwhile? If that's, uhm, okay?
▼: *He nods.* Yeth, of courthe. I don't have much elthe to do, anyway...
▲: Mmn... *sighs softly and shits so that his arms are around Sollux's neck* This is so nice, Soll. I could... I could stand here all night. Gee... *smiles a little* Thanks so much.
▼: *He smiles softly back at him.* No one detherveth to be alone. Not even rathitht thea-dwellerth.
▲: I told ya I'm not like that anymore. Uhm.. Since you're here d'ya wwanna actually sit down like civilized trolls? Wwe could, uhm, wwatch a movie or somefin. If you wwant to I mean.
▼: Mm, I know. ....watch a movie? Yeah, thure. Why not? *He shrugs.*
▲: *chuckles a little and pulls him over to the little couch* I like your lisp, Soll. It's real distinctly you. Uh, wwhat do ya wwanna wwatch? I got lots a movies. *snuggles all up in his personal space*
▼: That wath a little random. *He laughs a little.* Hm...thome thort of comedy? Lighten up the mood, you know?
▲: *nods and picks something off of the shelf, which is organized alphabetically by genre* This is a pretty good one. *hurriedly sticks it in the player and curls back up against Sollux's side, not willing to wast a single second of the valuable attention time he's getting because he's convinced it won't last*
▼: *A little confused, he wraps an arm around Eridan's waist, watching the movie.*
▲: *makes a small, content noise, awfully damn close to a purr, and sits there with his eyes closed, totally not watching the movie at all and just basking in contented closeness* Mmmm~
▼: *He looks down at him.* ....ED, are you okay?
▲: Huh? Wwhat? Y-yeah, I'm fine. Noww anywway. Uhm, wwhy? *flushes a little purple*
▼: You're making really, really weird noitheth. It'th a little worrying.
▲: *flushes a little darker* Sorry. I'm just... really comfortable. You don't knoww howw nice it is to havve someone actually wwant to be around me. ...I'm just tryin' to take full advvantage of it before you get tired of me.
▼: I've known you for a long while. Thome might thay too long, actually. But,anyway. After all thith time, I didn't get thick of you. Why thtart now?
▲: You really mean that, Soll? *looks up at him, looking really unsure* You really wwon't leave me like evveryone else? L-like Feferi? *looks down at his lap in embarassment*
▼: Yeth, I mean that. I'm not going to leave. Unleth you want me to. But, for now, I'm thtill here. Thinthe you need a friend.
▲: *hesitantly slips his arms around Sollux's chest and leans against him, taking a deep breath* I don't evver wwant you to leavve, Soll. You can just stay forevver if you wwant. I am just so happy right noww I don't evven.
▼: Thtay forever? Thomehow, I doubt we'll be able to thtand each other that long, to be honetht... *He sighs.*
▲: It wwould be nice though wwouldn't it, Soll? Hey Soll? I wwanna do somefin for you that I'vve nevver done for any troll evver, not evven Fef. *nervous smile*
▼: Yeth, it would be. A guy can hope, I gueth. Hm..? What ith it?
▲: Wwould it be okay if I, uhm, cooked for you? It's somefin I really like to do... an' I'vve nevver really had anybody to share that wwith before. Or, wwell, anyfin that I like to do, really. But you wwouldn't be interested in the other thins.
▼: You can cook? I didn't know that. But, okay. Fine. If it maketh you happy, then you can go for it or thomething. Wait, what elthe do you like to do?
▲: *blussshhhh* Oh, nofin cool or anyfin. Don't wworry about it.
▼: Well, now I'm interethted.
▲: *facepalm* you wwould be wwouldn't you? I wwrite a little bit that's all.
▼: *He quirks an eyebrow.* You can write?
▲: N-not vverry wwell. *gnaws lip* I'm k-kinda shitty at it really.
▼: Hm....can I thee? If you don't mind, I mean.
▲: Uh... Y-you really wwanna? I'vve nevver showwn anyone before...
▼: Yeth. I think it could be kind of interethting, actually.
▲: Okay but only if you p-promis not to laugh!
▲: *promise
▼: Oh, come on. I'm not that much of a dick, you know.
▲: ...o-okay. *gets up and goes over to the desk, shuffling around the papers until he finds one he's not entirely ashamed of* Wwell, I guess this one's okay. It's not completely shitty anywway. *hands it over nervously*
▼: *He reads the poem, smiling to himself as he reaches the end.* It'th really not that bad, you know. It'th actually really good...
▲: *blushhhh* *shuffles his feet nervously and gives him this big sheepish grin* Thanks Soll, I really appreciate that. I'm glad you like it. Uhm, I guess you can look at a couple others if you wwant. Or, if you don't that's fine, too.
▼: I can? Then, I'd love to. If you don't mind, that ith.
▲: Ah... You, you wwould? *grins a little wider* Okay! L-lemme just find another good one!
▲: *shuffles through the papers some more and picks out a couple* Here... there's these. They aren't terrible either.
▼: *He reads them as well.* I don't thee why you think thethe are bad. You're a better writer than I thought you were. Or, well, would be.
▲: R-really? It's just... I'vve nevver actually done anythin that anybody considered wworthwwhile, so I just f-figured... *grinning like a total moron at the praise* Fuck, Soll, you're so fuckin' nice, jeeze.
▼: I'm jutht thaying it ath it ith. I don't thee the big deal. *He shrugs, handing him the poems back.*
▲: *sticks them back in the pile and snuggles all up against him again, still grinning derpily* Sollux... *on the inside is like "iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou" but knows better than to say anything like that*
▼: Hey, you uthed my full name. What'th the occathion?
▲: *flush ((u c wut i did thar?))* N-nothin! *stiffens a little and focuses on the television*
▼: You're acting thuthpithiouth again....
▲: *groans* Just... lets wwatch the movvie, Soll. 'kay?
▼: Okay, okay, jeez. *He wraps an arm around the seadweller's waist once more.*
▲: *lays his head over on Sollux's shoulder contentedly* *after a minute or two somehow works up the nerve to hesitantly rest his hand on top of Soll's*
▼: *He blushes a little and jumps, not expecting the sudden contact. He opens his mouth to say something but, for once, he's speechless.*
▲: *draws his hand back a little when Sollux moves, but when he doesn't actually say anything he just sets it back where it was* *makes his little almost-purr noise again*
▲: *starts to kind of doze, leaning there against him with his eyes half lidded, just wonderfully content and comfortable* Mnn...
▼: *He looks down at Eridan and, with a slight smile, he pulls him closer.*
▲: *looks up at him, totally wide-eyed and innocently confused* Soll...? *blushing faintly purple*
▼: *He's watching the movie, but looks back down at him when he hears his name.* Yeah?
▲: *looks like he really wants to say something, but just shakes his head and cuddles closer, all but sitting in Sollux's lap by this point* Nothin'... *still thinking something along the lines of "Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou"*
▼: Hm. Alright, then. *He shrugs it off, going back to watching to movie.*
▲: *purr* ......... *watches Sollux for reactions out of the corner of his eye and shyly twines their fingers together, fully prepared to abscond to the other side of the couch at the first sign of irritation*
▼: *He jumps again, blushing more heavily this time. He tries to focus on the movie, but cannot.*
▲: *hesitates and slowly draws his hand away, looking nervously down at his lap and gnawing at his lip again*
▼: *He looks at the other once more.* Look, are you thure you're alright?
▲: *sighs* ...yeah. Don't wworry about it. *wedges his hands between his knees *thinking "Fuck, there's no wway he wwants me."*
▲: **
▼: *He holds him a little tighter, rubbing his arm softly in case he would hurt it or something.*
▲: Wwhy're ya... doin' this, Soll? I mean... I knoww ya said you cares, but... But.. *tiny pathetic sniffle* I really like ya, Sollux, an' it's n-not fair that you're doin' me this ww-wway, cuz you said yourself that there's n-no hope a anyone evver lovvin' me. S-so it's just k-kinda... kinda mean ta l-lead me on... like this. *stares at his lap because he can't look Sollux in the eye*
▲: *cared
▼: *He takes a deep breath.* ...I don't thee how I'm leading you on right now. But that'th bethide the point. I don't really know whether I want to know which way you like me. But I'm okay with that for the moment. And, I thay a lot of thingth I don't mean when I'm in athhole mode. You of all people thould know that.
▲: Y-you keep touchin' me! A-an pullin' me closer! Ww-wwhat am I s'posed ta think? *kneads his claws into the knees of his pants* I dunno ww-wwhat I'm s'posed ta do... *his earfins droop sadly*
▼: ......*He lets go of Eridan, rubbing his temples.* I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not even thinking thtraight at thith point. I....I'm thorry.
▲: *quickly absconds to the other end of the couch and curls himself into a little ball, looking pitiful and disappointed and really wishing he had his cape to hid in right now*
▲: *hide
▼: *He flashes him a confused look.* ED, what in the hell are you doing?
▲: *earfins are folded into themselves and practically plastered against his neck* I... I upset you s-somehoww, an' I don't wwant you ta leavve... So I figured wwhatever I did I can't do from ovver here.
▼: *He laughs a little.* I'm not upthet. Where did you get that retarded idea from?
▲: C-cuz you... looked like wwas givin' you a headache. *frowns in confusion*
▲: *I
▼: No. I'm jutht trying to thort out my own fucked-up thoughtth. I'm not upthet.
▲: *still looks ten kinds of nervous and shook up* y-you mean it...? *wrings his hands*
▼: No, of courthe not. I'm jutht mething with you. That'th totally appropriate right now. *He rolls his eyes.*
▲: *pouts* d-don't be a smartass! I'm.. I'm just confused. *gnaws his lips some more* I'vve nevver been so close to anybody before...
▼: Oh, but being a thmartath ith in my nature. And, what do you mean?
▲: Just... I'vve nevver been l-like this wwith anyone before. Evven wwhen I wwas moirails wwith Fef wwe hardly evver actually t-touched, an' she n-nevver hugged me or anyfin. I've h-hardly evver touched another troll unless I wwas fightin' them. I-I just don't knoww wwhat to think or do about this stuff.
▼: Tho, to you, none of thith ith normal at all? Not even hugth?
▲: *nods slowly, his earfins still drooping pathetically*
▼: ....have you ever even hugged another perthon before?
▲: *shakes his head* N-no. J-just you. I m-mean, it's not like I don't kn-knoww wwhat a hug is. I'm not stupid. It's j-just... not a thing I'vve done before.
▼: What I'm gathering from you ith....I am your firtht hug.
▲: *nods again, clearly confused* Y-yeah..? *his fine perk up a bit, curious as to just where Sollux is going with this train of thought*
▲: *fins
▼: *He shrugs.* I would have thought FF would have huggwed you at leatht onthe. ....the thoundth like a terrible moirail.
▼: hugged*
▲: *shakes his head vehemently* N-no! I wwas the one wwho wwas terrible. I m-made things so hard for her... It's my fault. She's right, I'm just a drama machine that does nothin' but wwhine an' glub. It's not her fault wwe had a terrible moirallegiance.
▼: You can't help who you are, though. If you could....oh, the thingth people could be. I don't even know what to thay here. I'm jutht babbling.
▲: *pulls his feet up in the chair and sniffles* I just... I don't understand wwhat I did to make evveryone hate me so much. I m-mean, yeah, I'vve been a jerk, but you an' Kar are both mean ta evverybody, too, an' you both still havve all kinds a friends. There's evven still trolls that like Vvris. An' I mean, you had Radi, an' now ya got Fef, an... *sniffles again and hangs his head* Wwhats so wwrong wwith me? I j-just... I j-just ww-wwant someone to l-lovve me, that's all.
▼: Maybe it'th the old genothide complex? And not everyone liketh me and KK, tho you're wrong on that front. And everyone hateth VK. The only reathon the wath playing with uth ith becauthe the'th tough. That'th it. And...look, I'm thure you'll find thomeone, okay? Unleth you already have. But that'th none of my damn buthineth really, ith it?
▲: Maybe not evveryone likes you, but evveryone at least respects you. I'm not anyfin to anybody. An'... An' wwhat does that last part evven mean? I don't u-understand.
▼: It meanth you might like thomeone. But, again. It doethn't matter to me. Thinthe I'm not involved.
▲: *He flushed dark violet, staring at his knees. That was obviously an invitation, but... But then again, it was Sollux. Who ever really knew with Sollux?* I, uhm... *deep, deep breath* Wwhat... *tries not to sound as scared as he is* Wwhat if.. y-you are invvolvved...?
▼: Ath in, what if you do like me?
▲: .... *nods slowly, like he isn't sure that's the answer Sollux wants*
▼: *He brings a knee to his chest, resting the elbow on the same side on top.* I don't really know. I would be flattered, I gueth. But, I don't know what I'd that. Probably nothing.
▲: *hazards a tiny little unsure smile* you're good at that. Not sayin' anythin', I mean. But, uhm, if hypothetically I did like you an' hypothetically you didn't say anythin'... Wwould you, you knoww, be anythin other than just flattered?
▼: *His eyes widen for a moment.* Uh... *He closes his eyes for a moment, not wanting to say anything in case it would dig him into a hole.*
▲: S-sollux? *asks softly, hesitantly* Uhm. Ya don't hafta answwer that if ya don't wwant.
▼: I don't think I can anthwer, Eridan....
▲: Uhm, wwhy not? *leans closer to him*
▼: What, jutht to dig mythelf into a hole? Are you crazy?
▲: I don't... wwhat do you mean? *frowns* I don't understand, Soll. I... *looks terribly confused* I... I did somefin wwrong, didn't I?
▼: *He shakes his head.* No. You have done abtholutely nothing wrong. And, I know you won't underthand. In a thenthe, I'm glad.
▲: *sort of crawls across the couch, back over to him* But... I wwant to understand. I wwant to knoww, Sollux.
▼: ....doeth it honethtly matter? Really? *He frowns.*
▲: *slow, unsure nod* It matters to me.
▼: But, why? Why would it?
▲: *flushes violet all over again* B-because... you matter to me... a-an' I wwanna understand you b-better...
▼: I matter to you? That'th a firtht in a while...
▲: It is...? *settles back beside him and leans against his arm*
▼: Yeth. I don't remember the latht time FF thaid that to me. If at all.
▲: Oh... Uhm. *sort of hugs Soll's arm to his chest* Wwell, it's true. An' I'll say it all you wwant.
▼: *He smiles a little.* Thankth, Eridan.
▲: You don't gotta thank me Soll. I'm not sayin' anythin' that's not true. *Smiles shyly and nuzzles his cheek against Soll's shoulder affectionately*
▼: *He blushes again, unsure of how to react.* Um, well, thome would dithagree...
▲: They'd be wwrong an' stupid. *closes his eyes and makes that purr noise again* ... *slowly inches one hand down Soll's arm until his fingers brush his palm*
▼: *Without even thinking, his own hand reaches for Eridan's hand to hold.*
▲: *Eridan smiles, looking almost... hopeful?* Sollux... *twines their fingers together happily*
▼: ....hey, thinthe when did we thtart uthing full firtht nameth, anyway?
▲: *flush* Oh, s-sorry. Do you... no wwant me to do that?
▲: *not
▼: I never thaid that. It'th jutht an innothent quethtion.
▲: ...m'kay. If you don't mind, then, I'm just gonna keep doin' it, okay? Because I don't do that wwith anybody else.
▼: Haha, I feel kind of thpethial, then?
▲: That's the idea. *smiles kind of derpily at him*
▲: Uhm, so... Wwhatevver this mess wwe're engaged in here is... does it havve a name? Are wwe allowwed to evven consider this a 'thing'?
▼: I don't know. I don't even know what 'thith' ith, to be honetht. If it'th even anything at all, actually.
▲: *gives his hand a squeeze* Uhm, I kinda wwant it to be. A "thing," that is.
▼: But, what kind? It could be friendthip, pale or....*He stops himself.*
▲: Or...? *he whispers the question breathlessly, practically begging Sollux with his eyes to say it, say it, please, Sollux, say it*
▼: ....or thomething redder. *He mutters it, looking away.*
▲: *hides his face against Soll's shoulder, trying to conceal his big, retarded smile* Something... something more f-flushed?
▼: Well, uh...y-yeah. Now you put it like that, it thoundth thilly. Jutht ignore me.
▲: ...Don't say that. *moves so that he can slip his arms around Soll's chest and nuzzle against his neck*
▼: ....can I athk why not?
▲: ...mmmm. *he pauses thoughtfully, looking up at Sollux* I guess so. I... don't wwant to ignore you. *deep breath* I... I l-lovve you, Sollux. *immediately averts his eyes and turns violet*
▼: *He freezes. Yet again, he is speechless. And, besides, no words could be said in any case.* ....
▲: *gnaws his lip nervously and stares at a point on the floor beside Soll's shoe* S-sollux...?
▼: *He snaps out of his frozen trance.* I, uh...yeah?
▲: Uhm... is that... okay? Wwhat I s-said, I mean?
▼: I really thould've expected that, to be honetht....
▲: *makes a frustrated noise* I'm not just red fer evveryone, you know. I mean, it wwould be really great if evverybody at least like me a little, but usually wwhen I say I'm red for somebody, I'm lyin'. I mean... I'm not evven sure I wwas really red for Fef any more, cuz... Cuz I like you a wwhole lot more.
▼: Tho whenever you were red for anyone, you lied? ....how can I be thure you're not lying right now?
▲: I... *thinks* Uhm. I... I don't knoww. *looks really worried and distressed* I.. I'm not, though. I don't knoww wwhat I can do to provve it to you Sollux. I'vve... I told you I'vve nevver been this close to anybody before. I dunno wwhat you wwant me to do
▼: *He frowns a little.* You don't know what to do when you're fluthed for thomeone? Really? It thould be kind of obviouth by now, right?
▲: *looks up at him with wide, innocent eyes and clearly doesn't have the faintest idea what he means*
▼: *He sighs.* You don't know what I'm thaying, do you, Eridan?
▲: *shakes his head* No...?
▼: Okay, how do you thow love? Like, in the movieth or thome thit.
▲: I... *thinks about it for a second, then turns bright violet* Uhm. S-sollux, I'vve nevver k-kissed anyone.
▼: Um, well...*He pauses, blushing a little.* We've all got to thtart thomewhere, right?
▲: I, uh... *nods* S-so... So I can k-kiss you, Sollux? That's actually okay?
▼: If it wathn't, do you really think I'd offer?
▲: *leans closer to him, hesitant and unsure* I...
▼: *He cups Eridan's cheek in his free hand, leaning in and closing the distance between them, planting a soft kiss on his lips.*
▲: *actually stops breathing and thinking for a whole thirty seconds* ...! *timidly wraps his arms around Soll's neck*
▼: *After a minute or so, he breaks the kiss for air.* ...
▲: *gives Sollux this blankly shocked look for a while before practically throwing himself into Sollux's chest and curling up against him, his claws entwined in the front of his shirt*
▼: *He decides not to question him this time and just rolls with it, wrapping both arms around him rather tightly.*
▲: *Nuzzles his face into Soll's neck* ...love you...
▼: *He smiles softly.* I....I love you, too.
▲: *makes a sound that might have been a sob and presses closer against him*
▼: ....Eridan?
▲: *another little sob* Y-y-y-yeaah...?
▼: What'th wrong?
▲: N-n-no one's evver s-said that to me before! *sob* I... I just...
▼: *He rubs his back again.* Hey, there'th no need to cry about it, right?
▲: I'm j-just s-so... *hic* ha-happy! *cries into the front of Soll's shirt*

[messagedApprehension]

You are kind of taken aback by the crying. Mainly because crying after being told you're loved is a little off, but not unlike Eridan. Partly because you feel bad for the poor seadweller - which you should anyway. You stroke his hair soothingly, seeing as you can think of no better alternative to make him stop. You just hope he'll stop soon.

[Zeke]

You wrap your arms tightly around him and press your face into his chest, your claws tangling themselves into his short hair. You don't know exactly why you're crying, only that hearing someone actually honestly say that they love you has opened some ridiculous floodgate of emotion. You're so happy, but that doesn't seem to be doing anything to stop the tears.

You take deep breaths, trying to force back the tears, and after a while you manage to calm yourself down. He's warm, and you have no desire at all to move from your spot against his chest.

[messagedApprehension]

You breathe a sigh of relief when the sobbing stops. He seems to have calmed down. At least, for the moment. Your shirt feels drenched with tears and, although unpleasant, you make the effort not to mention it to him. You quickly kiss his head. "Tho, feeling better now?" you ask. Despite it being obvious, you feel the need to break the silence somehow.

[Zeke]

You nod then, feeling the need to elaborate, you tilt your head to look up at him and smile. "Yeah. Thanks Soll, you're great." Your face flushes faintly purple as you look up at him, remembering that just a few minutes ago he was actually kissing you and, wow, that was awesome. You meet his eyes, and you have to wonder what he thinks of you, really. He always acts like kind of a jerk, but if he can treat you this way, he's clearly not as bad as he tries to appear, so you wonder if he really believes all the things he's said about you in the past. He probably does, you decide, because there was a time when all the things everyone says about you were true. But you've grown up, you've changed, and you hope you get an opportunity to show Sollux what a good matesprit you can be.

[messagedApprehension]

You smile softly at him. His blush is incredibly...adorable? Yeah, that's probably the correct word. Even though, after all this time, insult after insult was just launched in a constant onslaught, had you ever really imagined feeling the one troll you swore you hated the most in your arms? Of course not. Because, before that whole conversation earlier, you thought you hated him. But, was it just a weird cover-up this whole time? You don't know. You thought your insults were nothing but truth. But, that was all the past, right? Is there really something stopping you and him being matesprits now? You give him a peck on the lips. No.

[Zeke]

Your blush darkens and you laugh softly, nervously when he kisses you. This is all so unexpected, but in a decidedly pleasant way. You run a hand back through your hair, smoothing it where it had gotten mussed by Sollux's shirt, and grin sheepishly up at him. What will the other trolls think of this, you wonder. You hope it doesn't cause trouble for him.

[messagedApprehension]

Your eyes flicker over to the television and the forgotten movie, finished. You can't help but laugh a little. You suppose you got distracted, what with Eridan acting strange. But, he was a good distraction. And, still is. "Hm. Tho much for watching a movie." you shrug, not really caring. You don't care about much at this moment, actually...

[Zeke]

Oh, right. Watching a movie was a thing. A thing you were supposed to be doing. What happened to that? "Oh, uh, sorry about that, Soll. I guess I got kinda... distracted. I can put in somefin different if you wwant, and wwe could actually wwatch this one." You don't actually have any desire to watch a movie anymore; you would much rather just cuddle up against him on the couch and talk some more.

You love every bit of this; just being able to talk to someone without being shut down two words into the conversation is amazing. Being touched, held, loved... fuck, there aren't even words for how that makes you feel. You have to wonder, though, how your relationship is going to be. The others won't believe, at first, that you've managed to get a matesprit, and you have no idea what Sollux will tell them. Some of them are already pretty shitty to him, even though they're friends, and they'll be positively awful to him if they find out that he's with you. Maybe it would be best for Sollux if you didn't tell them at all. ...but then how would he explain when he breaks up with Fef? He will break up with her... won't he?

You really need to stop thinking so much.

[messagedApprehension]

You shake your head. Really, you'll end up getting distracted by him. Again. Not that you mind, as you thought before. He's probably the best kind of distraction, because you think he is the only person who can hold your attention long enough to distract. You can't help but grin a little at that thought. "No, no point really. We'll just end up still not paying attention."

You can't help but feel like you have forgotten something important about this relationship. You know, some sort of moral obligation or something. That doesn't end with you cheating? ...oh. Feferi. Damn. You suddenly wonder what you will say to her. 'Oh hey FF. I'm dumping you. I'm running off with the one troll who I've seemingly hated for sweeps! 'Kay, thanks, bye!' ...no. That is beyond dumb. Actually, should you even tell her? Think about it. If she knew, she would tell everyone. You doubt you can handle Karkat's lecture about why you should not date him. You can just not tell them. But they will ask why you dumped her. So, you tell a half-truth. You don't love her any more. Yes, you have it all planned out now. Now to inform Eridan.

[Zeke]

"Heh.... Yeah, wwe wwould, huh? I don't really think I mind." You reach over and loop your arms around his shoulders, your chin nestled delicately in the crook of his neck. Why was this never a thing before? Why did this take you two so long to figure out? This is good, the best.

"Soll...." you say softly, your lips close to his skin. "Ya don't gotta tell anybody if ya don't wwanna. I don't wwanna cause any trouble for ya, so wwe can keep this just betwween us."

[messagedApprehension]

You smile softly. "No, neither would I, really." you reply. Your arms drape around his waist as you sigh in contentment. Really, you are glad that it's just you two. Not because you don't want others to know or anything like that. But for the fact it is just you two, alone. A bit of privacy, blissful peace in one another's arms. And, in all honesty, you could not trade that even if you wanted to.

You shake your head. "I have to at least break it off with FF. I'm many things, but I'm not a cheater." Your smile becomes a little smaller at that thought. There is no way you are that sick. "And even if we don't tell anyone, they'll ask fucking questions. So, I don't know if that's a good idea, either." If only your friends weren't so nosey sometimes.

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